July 2012
38 posts
“Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of day is done, and all that is truly important becomes whole and sound again. When man reassembles his fragmentary self and grows with the calm of a tree.”
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (via multumesc-pentru-amintiri, mermaidcomplex) (via apoetreflects) (via windburns)
I know it’s quite immature when someone write all her thought and feelings (which is considered as private matters) into such social network websites. Well, at least that’s my opinion. But I will make an exception today, because I have to write something. Something that has been bothering me recently. And I hope after this everything will help me clearing up, even only a little bit. *cross fingers*
So, last couple of weeks I realize that after all this time I was hoping too much, demanding too much. They’ve been truly kind to me; she has helped me with almost everything in my most difficult times, and he gave me huge support and changed me in the way that maybe he didn’t even know. He helped me went through those times when I was about to jump from the edge of the cliff, and made me the way I am today. I’ve only met him once. And after all their kindness, his kindness, I asked him more. Yes, it is more into him. That night I called him and asked his heart. And since then everything’s changed. I realized now, in Indonesian proverb it’s said: Asking someone’s heart after they gave you their liver (Sudah dikasih hati minta jantung, :) ). After I said the words that I regret the most, he went away. And I was so sad. Really sad. I was hoping that everything could be back like it used to be. I hope everything could be normal again, but it’s only a wishful thinking. He was really kind, and it’s like ungrateful of me by asking more from him. I want to apologize, but even just saying a word, I feel like annoying him. I am sorry, I am so sorry, I am really sorry.
I truly appreciate your kindness, both of you, especially you, for accepting me the way I am, being there for me as you are, and most of all, helping me went through my most difficult times. Thank you for your unconditional support and love. I’m really grateful, for that very short time I could know you, learned from you, and became strong because of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really wish I could make it up to you, but right now I could only pray for your best and happiness. And may only Allah rewards you multiple times of your kindness. I hope one day in the future we can meet again. Share our stories and laugh on the same jokes again.
“I let it go. It’s like swimming against the current. It exhausts you. After a while, whoever you are, you just have to let go, and the river brings you home.”
—Joanne Harris, Five Quarters of the Orange
“You don’t have to get a job that makes others feel comfortable about what they perceive as your success. You don’t have to explain what you plan to do with your life. You don’t have to justify your education by demonstrating its financial rewards. You don’t have to maintain an impeccable credit score. Anyone who expects you to do any of those things has no sense of history or economics or science or the arts. You have to pay your own electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to give it all you got. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth. But that’s all.”
—Dear Sugar, The Rumpus (via antique-eyes)
May 2012
2 posts
Fixing a little broken heart.
it wouldn’t take that much time; but when it does,
it’ll come with hope, smile, wisdom, and a brighter sunshine.
and all I have to do is just pray and stay strong.
I’m a tough girl.
April 2012
7 posts
“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.”
—Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing (via larmoyante)
Pengen lari, kaya dulu… Must be fun… Berhubung gratis sedangkan renang kudu bayar. Tapi ntar pengen renang juga sih.. Dua2nya punya tujuan yang sama; bisa bikin pikiran yang ga penting berkurang n cuma fokus pada tujuan akhir dan target yg ingin dicapai. Karena kalau berhenti di tengah kita akan tenggelam. Karena kalau berhenti di tengah, kita tidak akan sampai pada tujuan akhir. Jadi lari saja, atau teruslah berenang dan maju. Hingga kita sampai pada tepian yang dapat membuat kita merasa aman dan tenang…
